Thirteen Point One

"If you can dream it, you can do it." - Walt Disney

Today, Daniel and I ran the Disneyland Half Marathon.

Before I signed up for the race, I'd been living on autopilot. I would go to work, come home, maybe get some exercise in if I felt like it, eat dinner with D, go to bed. But I was really, really tired. After several months of severe exhaustion, where I could barely get out of bed in the morning and would crash when I got home, I thought that something might be wrong. In March of 2013, I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. Through treatment, I thankfully began to feel like myself again. But I learned firsthand that I can't take my health for granted, and I realized I needed to get out of my rut by conquering a new challenge. I started to get excited about accomplishing a goal that I'd always wanted to achieve, but had never been sure that I could: a half marathon.

I had thought about doing a half marathon for a few years, but every time I had an opportunity to register for one, I would find myself putting it off. "I'll do that after I get in better shape" or "It's a little too expensive" were my most frequent excuses. So this past January, I closed my eyes really tight as I clicked "submit" on the Disneyland Half Marathon registration page. At that point, I was not a runner. Not even close. I hadn't run so much as a mile without wanting to pass out. And I am not at all a morning person. I knew it would be tough to get up early for long runs, to make myself push through pain. I asked D if he would sign up with me and be my training buddy, and thankfully he agreed. We had no idea how much of a sacrifice we would be making of our time and energy to train. Over the past 8 months, it has taken a lot of giving up of things we would rather be doing to make sure we were prepared to run 13.1 miles. Thankfully D helped push me to train harder and run longer, even when sometimes it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do.

All the training was more than worth it this morning when we crossed the finish line. I actually cried happy tears. My feet hurt and I was a sweaty mess, but I felt something even beyond happiness. I felt accomplished.

This experience taught me that I don't have as many limitations as I thought. If I can dream it, I really can do it. I replaced excuses with sweat, apathy with accomplishment. And it feels amazing.

xo, S

Two

On August 4th, D & I celebrated 730 (!) days of marriage.

As hard as it is to believe, two whole years have passed since we got married. Daniel and I got to celebrate this year with a perfect long weekend in Santa Barbara. We kicked off the weekend with a beautiful celebration of the marriage of two of our good friends, Rich and Laura, and spent the rest of the weekend hot tubbing, wine tasting, and eating out at some old and new favorites on the American Riviera.

Gorgeous first dance as husband + wife.

The view wasn't bad.

We absolutely LOVED our stay at the Canary Hotel. It was in a perfect location right on State Street. The bed was so SO comfy, the rooftop pool was beautiful, and a bottle of bubbly with a cute little postcard was there to great us upon arrival.

Somebody's gotta win... sorry D (but not too sorry.)

We finished the weekend with an indulgent afternoon having lunch at La Super Rica and then headed up to Los Olivos, home to one of my very favorite wine tasting rooms, Saarloos & Sons. Where else can you do a cupcake flight along with a your flight of wine? We also got to do an olive oil tasting, and left with fig balsamic and blood orange olive oil. Super excited to make some salad dressings with those.

So much YES.

So basically it was the best weekend. We didn't really have many plans, and we just sort of did whatever we felt like. It was so nice to just enjoy each other's company, with no agenda but to relax.

 The biggest topic of conversation over the weekend was how much can change in a year. When we reflected on our second year of marriage, we saw it mostly characterized by growth. Where year one felt like a time of adjustment, figuring out how to live together and be adults, year two felt like we were really working towards reaching and accomplishing new personal, professional and financial goals. A couple of things we learned:

1) Your spouse is your biggest asset in helping you accomplish your goals. When we first got married, I had the attitude that despite being married, I would still get to accomplish all the personal and professional goals that I had set for myself. The longer I'm married, the more I realize that D has helped me accomplish more than anything I could have done on my own. Whether it be running alongside me and pushing me to train harder, reviewing my resume, doing a load of laundry or cooking a meal, I feel less stressed, and therefore more able to focus on my goals, knowing that I have a supportive partner to help me get through it all.

2) Say you're sorry as soon as possible. I feel comforted that D and I can argue and are still able to say we're sorry before even ending the conversation. Having a disagreement is an inevitable part of marriage, but immediately apologizing for speaking a little too harshly or not seeing an issue from the other person's point of view helps remind us that at the end of the day, we are on the same team, and that we argue in order to reach a mutual understanding. Not to win. Disclaimer: wait until you actually do mean it before you say it. There is nothing worse than a huffy, insincere "I'm sorry" muttered under your breath.

3) Make happiness a priority (and don't be a martyr.) I'm no hedonist, but I do know that when I'm happy as an individual, I'm a better partner to Daniel. Having had major changes in circumstances in the past year, with both of us getting new, better-fitting jobs that we love, we are even happier as individuals, which has spilled into our marriage. Prioritizing our personal happiness also sometimes means time apart. Every so often that means that I need a night alone to read by myself with a glass of wine, or that D needs to zone out with ESPN, but letting ourselves invest in a tiny bit of selfishness here and there definitely makes us appreciate our time together even more. It's important to not afraid to ask each other for what we want, instead of harboring resentment for not getting it.

xo, S